Purging: Second Installment

Since my last post, we've had quite the on-going discussion about purging in our house.  I suppose it's one of those topics you don't realize is a hot one until you bring it up! I've come to realize that the way different people view possessions has everything to do with their specific situation.

For instance, until I was 18 and in college, I lived in the same neighborhood. I lived in the same house until I was 16 (at 16 I moved across the street to keep my Grandmother company).  Every single one of my childhood memories is attached to that street in that neighborhood.  As a result, things don't hold sentimental value for me - places do.  My situation isn't the norm, though, and I realize that.

My House - I remember swinging in that tree in springtime and
the petals falling off the flowers, making it look like it was snowing.
I remember painting that front porch, and when Dad had to fix the
roof.  I remember that cast-iron planter and the flowers Mom would
plant every spring. My memories are here.

Having a baby has forced me to modify the way I look at things, though.  We were given many many things for Emmaline, a lot of them by people she'll never remember.  I have no desire to get rid of these things - I want to someday be able to tell her about these wonderful people that were in our lives when we lived in Idaho, and to show her the things they made for her or gave her.  The same goes for cards people gave her - if it had a note written to her in it, I saved it and stuck it in my "Emmaline" binder with her birth certificate, etc.  I consider letters to her "important papers", and I want her to someday be able to go through and read all the wonderful things people wrote to her.  Bran and I were talking about it, and we can't wait for her to have a favorite blanket or toy or teddy bear.  If I were to try and purge her things now, she wouldn't get to pick - I'd be picking for her, and I don't think that's right! I'm not saying that once she has a favorite I'm going to get rid of everything else, but that those things are hers and someday she can be the one who decides to keep or purge them.

In the same way, I feel free to purge my things.  I didn't always feel this way, though.  I used to keep every letter I was ever sent.  I realized that I wasn't sure why I was keeping them - I had some vague idea that someday I'd want to read them again, but when was someday? So one day I sat down and read all of my letters.  I kept a few that were special to me (one my Uncle wrote me when I got married, another my Mother-in-law wrote at the same time, a few Bran wrote while we were courting, and a few others), and threw the others away. It felt wonderful!

I feel that I need to clarify on one point: I'm not completely unsentimental.  There are certain things I'll never get rid of, but I'm picky.  I'll always have the scrapbook my friend made of our trip to the Bahamas, and the one another friend made for me of her and I (I'll also always have the painting she did for me - it's going to be on the wall in our new nursery). I'll keep the champagne glasses and cake cutting tools from our wedding.  I have a bus stub from the trip Jen and I took to Ireland during my last Spring Break. I have my high school lit class journals, and an essay I wrote on St. Augustine in 4th grade.  I'm not overly sentimental, but I'm not unsentimental. 

Tsh on simplemom.net has some great thoughts about purging that I've found helpful:

One thing I learned when we moved overseas regarding the “sentimental” stuff – much of the stuff is attached to the memory behind it. What we’re sentimental about sometimes is the memory, not the thing itself. This isn’t true for everything, of course, but a lot of times, we don’t even really like the thing, but we feel like we need to keep it. Perhaps give yourself permission to still enjoy that memory, but to not need the thing in order to remember it.

She later suggests that if you feel like you're going to lose the memory by getting rid of something, take a picture of it and put it in an album.  Then every time you look through your albums, you think of those same memories, without having the clutter.

Check back in the next few days for a post about the process of purging: how to decide whether you should let something go and what to do with the things you want to purge.


Please comment with your thoughts! I'd love to know whether you agree, disagree, or what strategies you use to prevent clutter.